Sunday, 22 November 2015

Hello, it's me

Me, my grandad, my cousins and my baby sister. Check out my bob!
It's been almost two months since I posted. Logging in to Blogger this morning I actually felt anxious, like there might be a popup shouting, "where on EARTH have you been?" When I'm in full-on blogging mode I put so much work into posts - setting up photography, uploading and editing photos, drafting a post, editing, scheduling, social media, not to mention the money I - all of us who blog - spend to keep content exciting and interesting. When I have to take time away I feel so guilty, and I feel like I owe you an explanation.
I don't tend to get too personal on here so, here it is, personal post alert.

March 6th 2015 was my mum's 50th birthday. My mum, me and my sister went to York for the weekend, stopped over in a hotel and did nice things like shopping and drinking cocktails. Perhaps too many cocktails. We ended up having a stupid row over nothing (because of the cocktails) and I really regret that now because the next day when we went home we found out my granddad had terminal cancer. I realise now that my mum's birthday was probably one of the last happy days she would have in a while and we kinda ruined it. Sorry, mum.

We were told my granddad had six months and everything sort of went into a tailspin. You're on tenterhooks just waiting for something to happen. Wondering, will it be today? Next week? Will he be with us at Christmas?

In September he was admitted to hospital with a water infection, where he remained for six weeks. My granddad also had dementia which got steadily worse and was hugely affected by the infections. Each time I spoke to him or went to visit I had to fight back tears, didn't want to upset him or for him to think he'd upset me. Thankfully, he always remembered who we were.

On November 1st, my granda peacefully passed away in hospital with my nana, my parents and my aunt and uncle by his bedside. Anyone who has lost anyone will know what a hole this has left in our lives, and hopefully will understand why I've needed some time offline. 

In amongst all of this, Andrew and I decided we were going to move house. The past six weeks have been a blur of crying and boxes, cleaning and not sleeping. Andrew also started a new job. It never rains but it pours.

Boxes and bemused dogs - my life rn.
Going forward, the new house will have a huge study which will be our dedicated blogging room. It's got space for our computers as well as our photography equipment, studio lights and backdrops, meaning it will be much quicker and easier for us to create content. Blogging makes me happy and I know my granda would want us to be happy.

I'm going to ease myself back into blogging over the next few weeks (she says three days before her internet supply is disconnected to be transferred to the new house), but please bear with me in the meantime.

Thanks for reading.

Emily x

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